With a fist like a brick wrapped in another brick, Thump punches out the accountant with a collossal blow. Then, huge muscles straining, he heaves the desk free and kicks open the office door. Outside the city is on fire as the Drow attack! Black flames blot out the luminescant fungi sky and the air is filled with small black bolts, buzzing in the air like hornets. Thump throws down the table onto the grand stairway, and surfs it down! Duergar and drow are tossed aside like cordwood as behind him the entire office explodes into chunks of dark stone and burning form papers, the shockwaves blowing apart windows all up and down the expressway. Suddenly a terrible sight appears before Thump. Halfway down the stair a poor (possibly) innocent Duergar maid cowers cornered, her lovely beard-braids held brutally in the lotioned and well maintained hands of cruel Drow reavers. As a thunderbolt from a clear sky, Thump crashes through their ranks and hoists up the lass with one mighty tattooed arm as he goes by! She swoons up at him, never has she seen one so tall and brave, and though not hirsute as her kin, there is something about his brave visage that reminds her of the wonderous statues of Asmodeaus she loved as a small child. Brave Asmodeaus and his wonderous statues of him torturing woodland creatures, Drow, Surface Dwellers, Bad Duergar, and Regular Deurgar. Her heart flutters a little as her brave rescuer vaults the desk over a roadblock at the stair’s base and with a resounding crash they burst through the portcullis and there before them lies the holy star of the floor. It twinkles invitingly in the gloom of the horrifically decorated Throne Hall! Guards rush forward but Thump smashes them down with a huge hammer, topped with a bound sheaf of Form 81-A Subset B1, and the violence is horrific. Bloodstained accounting forms and triplicate documents flutter bloodstained in the eirie purple light as the sounds of violence echo off the great pillars. Hoisting the maiden to his shoulder, her braided beard tickling his scalp, the giant strides forward, the blows of the guards like gnats apon his stoney hide. One mighty ironshoot boot slams into the star and with a SHOOM both ascend to a the next level which turns out to be a petting zoo and animal sacrifice center set on top of a extreme sports resort and they both live happily ever after and have many many dwa-lioth children!
Except none of that happened because of the snow. So instead I am sad.